Because of them, I survive..

I am having a problem logging in into blogspot since my last entry..I didn't know why..My net connection has been very stable and I don't have any problem with other website..

Money..money..money...I had a financial problem after my vacation in the Philippines.. When I came back here, I only had 60$ in my pocket.. and 125 Moroccan dirhams..poor me.. Nobody met me at the airport so I spent 75dhs for my train fare.. then the guy who helped me brought my luggages didn't accept 10 dirhams but 20.. reason? it's Ramadan.. ok!

When I arrived in Rabat station, I had only 5dhs.. I could use if I take bus but, it's already 9pm and it's hard for me to go to the main road to look for one.. what I did? I rent a taxi.. It's illegal to get the blue taxi (they have routes and if police catches him, the driver will pay more than my fare.. so it was a risk for him).. In exchange of it, I have to pay 30dollars which is equivalent to 210dhs.. It's more than a thousand pesos... Do I have any choice? no!!! Money left? 30 dollars..

How did I survive? I dunno actually.. I arrived in Rabat last Sept 11.. In Sept 19, I went to Casablanca to attend a debut.. one of my friends lent me 50dhs for my fare.. and I have to owe some more money if I want to go back to Rabat.. There, came my savior.. One of the people that I consider my father here in Morocco..I borrowed 100$ from him and it was the money I used until I received my salary last Oct. 16th..

but mind you!! I only received 500dhs for my 3 hours tutoring with one kid.. so the money I received wasn't enough to pay my debts.. huhuhu.. here's came the rescue.. the same day I receive my salary, I received money from one of the guys I am dating.. Ok, I know what you are thinking.. He has been insisting to give me money.. but, I didn't accept it.. I only allowed him to hand me money when he said, ok, pay me when you have your money.. and then, voila.. I went to wafa express cash to get it..then after a couple of minutes, my business partner in the US, sent my money too.. it was the money I earned from interviewing applicants in our small business (I will tell you about it next time)..

It was really funny coz I was struggling for almost a month and then I was really saving my money to important things.. One time, I was counting the money I owed from my friends.. When I was in my previous job, I was the one counting the money that my friends borrowed from me but now, it's the opposite.. Anyway, I am really thankful coz people around me are willing to help.. They know what my situation is and why I left my job..

Just last week, I met my previous employer's brother.. I was really surprised when he gave me a thousand dirhams.. I didn't wanna accept it.. but he told me I made him and his sister a very very big favor.. (You will understand it later).. The brother (Kuya Martin) has been living here in Casablanca since 1992 but never visited this house.. He only visited here last Saturday.. I dunno if it was because of me or what.. Only one thing I know, God is there watching me and and gives me what I deserve.. He always gives me things that I ask from Him..

Thanks to them.. I was able to pay my house rent, internet card and my taxi fare everyday..I'm a survivor.. and I survive because of the people around me.. A million thanks!!!

our BABY is now a LADY.. my special entry for my youngest sis' birthday..

whew!!! after trying to go online for a week, a big success is here!!! I have been dying to post my entries here but everytime I open my blog account (which I bookmarked), I have no luck.. it's my sis 18th birthday yesterday and I wasn't able to post my entry that is dedicated to her.. For starters, 18th birthday or debut is a big celebration in the Philippines.. It is the time when a girl starts her ladyhood. Most of the time, they say, you can have boyfriends when you are 18 coz it's the legal age for everything.. You can drive, you can vote for national elections, you can be on your own (for some who want to be independent) and you can marry.. (It was 5 days after my debut when I officially introduced my bf to my family..hehe..but until now, I am single.. I don't wanna marry now for some reasons..)

My sister's name is Leopeta Padilla.. I know it's a weird name but it was from 3 important people in our family.. Leo is from my grandmother Leonida who was with us when my mother gave birth.. She traveled from Manila to Capiz which is 19-22hours travel by the sea.. Pe is from our father's name, Peter and Ta from mother Tarcela.. We call her Ging ging and only call her Leopeta when she's being a hard headed.. hehe.. but I tell you, my youngest sister is mature enough and only sits in the corner when she wants something.. She's always shy.. I remember, she wants me to buy something for her but she didn't ask me money coz she knows that we are budgeting.. And since she is the youngest, our siblings always ask her to do errands and chores.. She doesn't complain even she's tired.. If she does wrong, she receives high voices from our cranky sibs.. (peace bros and sis).. Anyway, I can't remember a time that I shouted at her.. Swear!!! I love her dearly and she knows that.. right bunso?!! (Chie, don't be jealous.. we're bestfriends.. you know why? because we always fight and after a day, we're fine.. haha)

Ging ging (Leo's nick) was only 6 when our father died but I know she remembers the moments especially the time when tatay (tagalog of father) was carrying her in his back to and from school.. (imagine my father carrying my sister everyday in 4 km-rocky/mountainous road).. I remember the time when she asked my mother during my father's funeral.. "Won't we see tatay again?". It really melted my heart when I heard those words.. I was 13 and it was hard for me to accept that our father was gone.. They always say, kids won't remember things but my sis is different.. just 2 weeks before this posting, she messaged my sis in Malaysia.. The message goes like this..

Magbibirthday ako na wala ka (referring to my sis in Malaysia), wala si toto (bro in the seminary in Bacolod), wala si Inday (me) at higit sa lahat, si tatay.. Gagraduate din ako na wala kayo at si tatay. (I will celebrate my birthday without you (my sis in Malaysia), toto Bryan (who is in seminary in Bacolod), Inday Raquel (me in Morocco) and most of all, tatay (who died in 1997).. I will also graduate without you.)..

When I read that messaged that was forwarded to me by my mother (mom asked my sis in Malaysia why bunso (tagalog for youngest sibling) was crying while texting her.. My sis in Malaysia forwarded the message to my mom and mom sent it to me).. I didn't know what to do so my sis won't feel empty.. I asked my trusted friends so my sis won't mind the distance between us.. And here we go.. I made 2 videos for her..one is a compilation of her photos where I got from her friendster account and saved pix from my laptop during my vacation.. another video is my personal message to her.. I asked my sis to have them burned and play them on the day of her birthday celebration.. Hope, everything will turn out fine.. I can't send them to my sis' email address because of the size of the videos..these are the first videos I made.. hope you understand why these videos look so trash.. lol..

the compilation of her photos..

bunso and me.. she's taller than me.. I know..


different faces of bunso.. I know, she's the prettiest among us.. (when it's my birthday, they say, I am the prettiest too.. same thing happens with my 2 sisters..hehe)

I made this for my sis' tarpaulin.. I know it is not that realistic as what other sister (Chie) was claiming..but..I know what's true!! hahaha...

the first tarpaulin I made.. I put John-john (our nephew) coz it's also his birthday last Oct. 22 and Jemae (our niece) coz it's her birthday on the 26th.. 3 celebrations in 1 day..

Bunso, I love you!!! You know that!!! Here's my message for you!!

edit: size of my personal message video is too huge (4gb) and takes too long to upload.. I ended up posting this without it.. Hope it works the next time I upload it..

choosing people to be with?! Am I still the Miss Congeniality they know?

been busy for the past 3 days..I went to breakfast last wednesday with people from American Club.. I also went to the baby shower of my latina friend Vanessa.. I wanna share this photo coz it's really funny how international we are..

From Left to right..
Rosalyn (Brazil). Rita (Guatemala), Katrina (USA-Cameroon), Vanessa (Colombia), Diana (El Salvador), Michelle (USA), Me (Philippines), Kim (New Zealand).. Others who missed the picture taking are Coleen from the US, Adriana who happened to be a part time spanish teacher in the school where I am working as an aide is from Mexico, Viviana who is from Colombia and Vanessa's mom who took the picture..

I go out with these people for some reasons..
First, I wanna forget what my problems are. These people are not working so I have company when I need someone to cheer me up.. Kim has been very nice to me since.. She always picks me up from our apartment and drops me off to where I am going.. She introduced me to some of the guys from couch surfer where I met Joel Hanson.. Joel Hanson who? He's in my facebook.. don't ask about him.. haha!! anyway, my social life here in Casablanca is way better than what I had in Rabat.. I remember one time, some of my Filipino friends went to disco and didn't even invite me.. It was like, I was left alone.. They planned it a week before and only told me to come when all of them were already dressed (as in all of them were already had make up and ready to go).. So I am making my own friends.. my board mates here are all busy.. and sometimes, they are distant to me.. (someone told me.. You are professional.. Why are you living with maids?).. OMG!! when I hear those words, I was like.. what's wrong with you people?! I feel bad for my friends.. I feel bad because my sis is also working as a domestic helper in Malaysia..

Anyway, I think I knew why they are distant to me.. One time, I, together with other three ladies went to the building of all-guy Filipino workers here.. We spent a night there.. drunk.. I wanted to go home that night but it was already late..It is the place where I met guy #8..

When we went home, I told my friends that I will never ever go back there.. First, you know the thinking of other people.. They think that something happened if 2 people in opposite sex spent a night together in one bed.. But I will tell you people, NOTHING HAPPENED!! Second, I can't stand rumors.. I know that spending a night there will be a big issue to some.. In fact, I heard one woman said, "Oh really she's a teacher?" when she learned that I spent a night in one of the rooms there WITH a guy.. Now, my being a teacher is affected.. I know I was wrong when I got drunk.. much more, when I slept in someone else' bed.. The peer pressure "pakikisama" was there.. The reason why I went there with my friends was I don't want them to think that I am too proud of myself.. That I am not meddling with them because of my status.. I always have the same problem.. my previous bfs before were like, "you should find someone else because you are professional and I only finished this course or didn't even graduate".. Third, I have my bfs here in Morocco.. haha!! I don't want another one..

anyway, in this house, people call me "ma'am or teacher" and the owner of the house talked to me not to mingle with my other housemates because I am different from them.. my other housemates entertain seamen who visit us here to drink beer or to have some fun..Kuya Johnny told me, just stay inside..Do your stuff and let them (my housemates who are jobless) entertain..

I have nothing against entertainers or other people.. They said before, I am Miss Congeniality coz I am a friend to all classes.. but sometimes, they are the ones who are being distant.. what will I do? Reach people who don't want to be reached?

As long as I know myself better and as long as people who know me better are concern, I am what I am.. and I love being myself! If I don't love myself, other people won't love me too.. and if I don't love myself first, how can I love other people?!

Am I making sense? I am not even editing my work.. just random thoughts about being my friendly/unfriendly attitude.. haha!!

group emails today for typhoon victims

I almost sleep today without writing my blog. I've been here in front of my laptop since this morning.. (19 hours ago).. I have been sending emails to some people (since saturday and haven't received any reply yet).. The latest recipients of my letter are the people I met in church last Sunday.. I am still hoping for positive replies.. Just wanna share it with you (Sorry to all my English speaker followers, if there are any, my letter is in Filipino language because this is address to Filipinos)

Sa lahat po ng mga Filipino sa Morocco at mga kaibigan ko sa ibang panig ng mundo:

Magandang araw po!

Inaanyayahan ko po kayo na makibahagi sa proyektong ginagawa ng aming grupo, Pinoy Forumers Society Foundation Inc (PFSFI) para sa mga biktima ng bagyong Ondoy at Pepeng sa Pilipinas. Sa kasalukuyan, nangangalap kami ng kahit anumang tulong para sa mga kababayan nating nasalanta ng paglubog ng Kamaynilaan at ng karatig-lalawigan. Sampu ng aking kasamahan sa grupo ay nagsagawa na ng naunang relief operation noong October 10 sa Nangka Marikina, at 2 bayan sa Rizal. Sa kanilang pagpunta doon, nakita nila kung ano ang mga pangangailangan ng ilan nating kababayan.

Ilang araw matapos ang bagyong Ondoy, nagkaroon ng online meeting ang aming samahan upang mapag usapan ang tulong na maaari naming ibigay sa mga biktima. Napagkasunduan namin na mangalap ng pondo upang maipamahagi sa mga nangangailangan. Napagtagumpayan ng grupo ang naunang operation at napagkasunduan naming magkaroon ng pangalawang pagkakataon upang maipaabot ang tulong sa mga nasalanta.

Inilakip ko ang ilan sa mga kaalaman tungkol sa aming grupo. Nabuo ito sa pamamagitan ng POEA forum. Isang website kung saan nagkita kita ang mga aspiring OFWs at mga OFWs na nagbibigay ng payo sa mga nangangailangan. Ilang projects na rin ang aming napagtagumpayang gawin. Isa na dito ang pagbigay ng kaunting tulong sa Bagumbong High School sa Caloocan at orphanage (CRIBS) sa Marikina.

Pansamantalang natigil ang aming pagtulong pagkatapos ng CRIBS project dahil kinailangan naming magparegister sa Security Exchange Commission (SEC) upang maging legal ang aming paghahandog at nang hindi magamit kung sinumang pulitiko. Naging abala ang lahat ng officers sa Pilipinas kaya’t walang nag aasikaso ng kahit anong proyektong amin sanang gagawin.

Muling nabuhay ang aming samahan nang may isang myembro ng POEA forum na makikita sa http://bbayani.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=9059&page=1 ang nagpaabot ng mensahe sa aming samahan at kami ay nagkaroon muli ng usapin dito at napagkasunduang magsagawa ng relief operation (1^st batch) noong Sabado, October 10. Makikita nyo po sa link na ito ang updates ang developments ng isinasagawang paglilikom, pagrerepack at pag aabot tulong ng ilan sa aking mga kasamahan sa organization. http://bbayani.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=9059&page=12 -Dito sa page na ito makikita ang pagdidistribute ng mga narepack na bigas, canned goods, mga noodles at damit..

Anumang tulong (used clothes, canned goods, medicines at cash) ang inyong maiaabot ay isang malaking bagay na para sa ating mga kababayang nasalanta. Akin din pong ipinakikiusap sa sinumang uuwi na kung maari ay sya na ang magdala o mag-abot ng anumang tulong na manggagaling dito sa Morocco. Kung meron man po kayong mga kamag anak na gustong tumulong, inilagay ko na rin ang mga info ng aking kasamahan sa ibang panig ng mundo upang mas mabilis maipaabot sa Pilipinas ang anumang malilikom.

Kung nais nyo naman pong mag abot ng cash, maaari ko pong ibigay sa inyo ang account ng aming samahan o kaya naman po, maari nyo pong ibigay sa akin (pero hanggat maaari po, ayoko maghawak ng kahit anupaman para maiwasan ang di magandang usapin) pero maipapangako ko po sa inyo na ang inyong tulong ay siguradong makakarating sa beneficiary.

Kung meron po kayong kakilala na naging biktima ng Ondoy or Pepeng, maari nyo rin po ipagbigay alam sa akin upang maisama naming sa listahan ng lugar na aming pinagpipiliang abutan ng kaunting tulong.

Ilang webistes na may kaugnayan sa grupo

http://bbayani.proboards.com/index.cgi -POEA board.. Ang POEA ay labas sa usapin tungkol sa grupo at anumang pagkakamali ng samahan ay di sila maaaring isali. Kaya nababanggit ang POEA ay dahil nagkakilala ang mga taong naging bahagi ng PFSFI sa POEA forum. Karamihan sa PFSFI members ay bahagi ng POEA forum ngunit ito ay bukas para sa lahat. Maaari nyo rin makita ang aming website http://pinoyforumerssociety.wetpaint.com ngunit sa kasalukuyan ito ay para lamang sa mga miyembro. Ginawa namin ito para maiwasan ang pagsasabing kami ay scammers at nang hindi kami bahain ng mga taong humihingi ng tulong (hindi kasi namin napagbibigyan ang lahat dahil mula noong nagsimula ang grupo hanggang sa magpatala sa SEC, mula lamang sa aming bulsa an gaming iniaabot na tulong). Kung sinuman po ang gustong maging miyembro ng samahan, magpadala nalang po kayo ng email sa akin upang mapadalhan ko kayo ng invitation to open the website. O kaya, search PINOY FORUMERS SOCIETY or click http://profiles.friendster.com/83151344 sa friendster. Makikita nyo ang mga pictures noong mga nakaraang projects ng grupo. Kasama na dito ang relief operation na naganap noong October 10. Ang aming facebook account naman po (bago palang kaya wala pa gaanong members) ay http://www.facebook.com/pages/Pinoy-Forumers-Society/174904090954?ref=ts

Kung kayo man po ay may pagdududa sa aming samahan, di ko po kayo masisisi. Kung nais nyo naman po makatulong sa pamamagitan ng ibang organization, isinama ko na rin po ang ilan sa kanilang contact #s. Kahit saan nyo man po idadaan ang inyong tulong ay malaking bagay na sa amin.

Maaari nyo po akong mapadalhan ng message sa +212648760951 or racz_jay25@yahoo.com. Maari nyo po ako iaad sa friendster para po malaman nyo kung ano ang hitsura ko (dun sa di pa nakakakilala sa akin). Maaari nyo rin po ako iadd sa facebook.. Pero di po ako naglalaro ng Farmville kasi gusto ko totoong farm.. hehe.. joke..

Kung meron man po kayo kakilalang nurses na pwede po maging volunteer sa Pilipinas sa darating na relief operation, maari din po kayo makipag ugnayan sa akin. Kailangan po kasi naming ng volunteers para sa pagbibigay ng medicines sa mga maysakit. At nakikiusap po sana ako na kung sinuman po ang makatanggap ng sulat na ito ay iparating po ninyo sa iba pang Pinoy na andito sa Morocco at sa iba pa ninyong kamag anak sa ibang parte ng mundo na handang tumulong.

Maraming Salamat po!

Lubos na gumagalang:

Raquel Padilla

Board of Adviser

Pinoy Forumers Society Foundation Inc

*************************************************************************************************************

COORDINATORS PO NG PFSI

Pinas:

yayeth
cell # 0928-218-8080

Joy Gamat
GLOBE - 09172492722
SMART-09107630525
Email - j.gamat.24@gmail.com

Chris Viray
09184246754

Rimel Evaristo

09064836177

Lolit Iglesias
09202729306

TAIWAN:

Liwanag Matias
+886-0986463497
+886-0919388174

KOREA:
Baleleng
+821068710925

SAUDI:

Cian Briones Jr
+966567970044

United Arab Emirates:

Jocelyn Torres-Gundan
+971-508302618

Misael Gundan
+971-508316121

CANADA:

Elve Gabaig
+15199554430

MOROCCO and other COUNTRIES

Raquel Padilla
+212648760951
+639217148690
raczcutie@yahoo.com

***********************************************************************************************************

Iba pang organizations na pwede nyo po abutan ng tulong

o Philippine National Red Cross (143, +632-5270000)

o Philippine National Red Cross Rizal Chapter operations center hotline:(+632-6350922, +632-6347824)

o Go to GMA Facebook page & post complete addresses and names of people in need of immediate help.

o ABS-CBN Typhoon Ondoy Hotline: (+632-4163641)

***************************************************************************************************************************

ABOUT PINOY FORUMERS SOCIETY

Philippine Securities and Exhange Commission
Registration Number: CN200908782

ABOUT PFSFI

Pinoy Forumers Society Foundation Inc is an organization of Overseas Filipino Workers (OFW's) and aspirants around the globe. Formed and organized through the POEA Message Board on September 2008 with sole objective of extending help to our compatriots and chosen beneficiaries.

VISION

We seek to effectively bridge the distances between Filipino expatriate and our less-fortunate countrymen in the Philippines who need help. We envision to create a channel where OFW's around the globe who wishes to extend their help, thereby PFSFI becoming a mechanism by which donations and other forms of support can reach intended beneficiaries in the Philippines.

We envision helping create a poverty-free Philippines by providing support to our chosen beneficiaries to the best that we can.

MISSION

To extend help to charitable institutions and other deserving beneficiaries in collaboration with Philippine Goverment agencies, NGO's, and other allied organizations as needed.

To be one of the best known foundation within the Filipino communities around the world with a reputation for excellence and integrity.

To create unity, understanding, harmony, respect and camaraderie among Filipinos whether in the Philippines or in abroad, to be able to define and express
the real meaning of the name " Bagong Bayani".

To educate aspiring OFW's thru POEA Forum and create worthwhile community projects to help distressed OFW's and their families.

Project Updates and Developments

UPDATES

Fourth Project: Completed as of October 10,2009

Relief operations to Ondoy Victims in Nangka Marikina City. Pictures can be viewed in friendster account, facebook account and POEA forum.

Third Project: Completed as of February 14,2009

CRIBS,Phils. is the project beneficiary. CRIBS received a manager's cheque worth Php 21,000 ,boxful of laundry and bath soaps and boxful of cooking oil.

Background
C.R.I.B.S. (Create Responsive Infants By Sharing) was started in 1974 in Manila by two Lutheran missionary wives who took home five sick babies from the Reception and Study Center for Children of the Department of Social Welfare and Development. This was the beginning of a Foster Care Program by a non-government organization in the Philippines. From its humble beginnings, CRIBS has grown into a leading child-caring agency licensed by the DSWD.

Contact Details
Address: 30 Major Dizon St., Industrial Valley Complex, Marikina City 1802
Website: www.cribsfoundation.org
Email: cribsnet@info.com.ph
Phone#: (632)681-5921, (632)681-8078
Fax#: (632) 647-1329

Location map


Calendar Schedule:

Jan. 10, 2009 - PFS Officers meeting with Ms. Liway Flores of CRIBS

The officers of PFSi based in the Philippines will be meeting with Ms. Liway Flores of CRIBS. This is to clear things brought up in the POEA website forum and to get a chance to settle the issue. This is also to make CRIBS feel that the purpose of the group is genuine and we are not a fake as what others claim.

This is also a chance to ask personally the CRIBS office about their primary needs.


Second Project: Bagumbong High School

• First wave: Fifteen Standard 18" wall fans
• Second Wave: Fifteen teachers table, fifteen chairs, 1 coffee table
• Third Wave: Blackboards for 4 classrooms, set of 3x4x5 thrash bins and extra trash bins

First Project: A cellular phone given to a relative of co-forumer

PFSFI Set of Officers

Board of Directors:
Chairwoman:	Mrs. Jocelyn Torres Gundan (UAE)
President:	Ms. Christzel Viray (Phi)
Vice-President:	Mrs. Lolit Iglesias (Phi)
Secretary:	Mr. Rimel Evaristo (Phi)
Treasurer:	Ms. Jennyleen Santoyo (Phi)
Members:	Mrs. Laarni Evaristo (Phi)
	Mr. Archie Inciso (Phi)
	Mr. Joy Gamat (Phi)
General Manager:	Mr. Rimel Evaristo (Phi)
Board of Advisers:
	Mrs. Elve Gabaig (Canada)
	Ms. Liwanag Matias (Taiwan)
	Ms. Raquel Padilla (Morocco)
	Mr. Alvin Velasco (UK)

I have sent more than 30 emails already.. Hope to receive any response..

back in His arms again..

My sister and I were in the middle of fights.. Forget what it was but it's like battle in the movie 300.. We both were crying.. We were so afraid.. We were running for our lives.. Then suddenly, bomb fell close to us.. I can still remember how big the hole that was created by the bomb.. We were so scared.. We were hugging each other and then suddenly, there was someone who tapped my shoulder and said, "Don't be scared.. Don't worry, everything will be fine".. When I looked up, I saw Jesus Christ face looking at us.. He was wearing white shawl and he was staring at me.. He's like talking to me.. I know, He wants to say something and He wants me to feel that I am not alone..That I can count on Him whenever..

This was my dream last March 8, 2009. when I woke up, I was crying. I couldn't believe what I had just dreamed. It was almost a month before that dream that I felt really really alone.. I have so many friends but sometimes, you need someone who really understands you.. or sometimes what you need are the people who really know you from the start..your family.. And I was really alone coz they are very far away from me.. It was my first time to feel homesickness after more than 2 years..

After that dream, I became closer to Him. It's like all burdens I had were gone coz I surrendered everything to Him. And things became easier to me. I know not everyone experiences the same dream and I feel really really lucky..Thanks to Him coz He also reminded me that He's there.. That I shouldn't feel alone.. That I should give Him what He wants me to do.. That is to visit Him every Sunday, live the life He taught and spread His good deeds.. I know I am not a good daughter but I am trying to..

After church tonight, I asked for people's email addresses because I am sending them letter for typhoon and flood victims in the Philippines.. Hope to get positive response from them.. (I'll post about our organization next entry..)

(Oh yeah, this is the first time that I write my blog 2 days in a row. Hoping that my laziness won't strike again.. or else..you won't see me for months.. haha)

creating my own problems.. crazy me..

Here I am now.. writing again.. when will be the next blog entry?! hmmmmm..

anyway, I was busy the past days and wasn't in the mood to write.. Now I am.. obviously.. Thanks to my friend (very good friend) Jocelyn Torres aka Concon or Misalyn for reminding me that I haven't updated my account for a long time..

When was I for the last 7 months (almost 8 months)?!!!

This year has been very dramatic to me.. You will understand why when you read my other entries the next days.. Many people said that I have made the biggest move this year.. What will you expect? I am already 25 and I think I am on the right track.. or not? haha!! I've met a lot of people the last months.. met a LOT of guys and now I am having a problem.. I can't imagine how I manage to have 9 guys in my life now.. Yes, you read that right..There are 9 of them and the more I wanna go out in 1 relationship, the more they are very aggressive to continue what we have..

A fortune teller read my palm one time. (I don't believe in fortune tellers but this one really hits me..) He said things about wealth and love.. In wealth, he told me that I will get rich in the future.. I wonder when will it happen? Next thing he said, I am a kind of lady who doesn't say "no" to a guy.. Means, I date everyone who asks me for a date.. He said, I have 6 guys in my life and one x (this one is making my life complicated).. After barely a week, I have added 3 to them and that makes them 9.. Oh yeah.. Let me introduce them...

#1..I met this person thru our organization (Ramon Magsaysay Youth Organization).. Super loving person.. We dated since 2004.. Made me happy but then, suddenly I fell out of love.. We have on and off relationship a year after we dated.. I've been unfaithful to him for so many times but he's there ready to accept me how many times I make mistake.. but still, the feelings I had before isn't the same.. I feel sorry for him but I can't teach my heart..I consider him my steady bf til now coz we don't have formal break up..

#2..Met him thru a dating site.. I tried putting my profile, wrote what kind of person I am and what kind of person I was looking for.. He contacted me and he's like the best person that I have ever met.. There are so many things that we both have in common.. We sometimes say and think same things.. He's really romantic and very sensitive to the need of a woman.. He's family oriented and a very loving person.. He always makes way to talk to me.. that was until 2 weeks ago.. :( He said, he's doing part time jobs in the evening..Their company is having a problem so he needs to find another source of income.. I miss him and he occupies the biggest part in my heart..

#3..met him when I had my vacation in Philippines.. He's a policeman.. I know he's very kind and thoughtful.. but not really my type.. He always sends me messages and calls me but it doesn't make me fall for him.. bad for me..err, for him..lol.. :D

#4..met him in place where I am staying now.. He's sort of my secret boyfriend.. Only thing I've noticed, he's really close to a lot of girls but he's kinda hesitant to me..

#5..He's a seaman.. He was our visitor here one time then his co workers paired him to me.. I wasn't really in the mood to entertain (I am not an entertainer).. I only did it coz I am being kind.. Yeah right!!! We went to Sheraton Hotel to dine..he'll be back here on November and I dunno.. I hope he won't come..

#6..met him before I went for my vacation in Phils.. He invited me to his house.. He's a friend to me.. An older brother is the correct term.. but then, the night I visited him, he showed me things that made me value the kind of person he is..He's always there when I need him.. Emotionally, he supports me.. He's a nice person and I am afraid I am falling for him..

#7..He's the Moroccan guy at school.. hmmmmm, a good company but nothing serious..hahaha! because of him, I learn to write arabic..

#8..He's my friend's ex bf.. he said, they parted ways a month ago.. ahhhhhm, hope that coz I don't want to have problems with my friend.. I admire how eager he was to know me.. haha.. I told him I have a bf but he still wants to pursue his intentions..

#9..#6's best buddy for a long time..at first, I was just fixing his relationship with his gf (now ex gf)..and then suddenly, our conversation became between me and his friend and now, between me and him.. We are officially on! He knows about me and his bestfriend but he said that it's fine with him.. Now, he's saying bad things about #6.. (Tomorrow, I will talk to both of them and I will drop them from my list)

I don't know what happened.. When I was younger, I don't get much attention.. hahaha! I did but I only had 2 bfs at a time.. lol.. I cried in a guy the first time when I was 11.. Too early eh? yeah.. 'twas early for me to flirt.. ah eh, not the right word I think? I meant, early for me to be inlove.. Anyway, most of them tell me that they like me coz of my attitude (I am not pretty..so I agree with them..haha).. Maturity, I can say.. I have a lot of things to offer.. lol.. second is, I can talk sensibly.. haha.. you know what I mean? one of my friends told me that he likes to talk to me coz I am not like the others who only talk about sex and then nothing.. I love talking about life.. listening to people's probs.. sharing what I have and what my experiences are.. am not bragging about myself.. I am just telling them what they need to hear..(now, it looks like I am bragging..haha)

anyway, enough for now.. I won't promise anything.. but.. I will do my best to write an entry each week.. hopefully..

I hope, the next time I post here, I only have one bf.. lol..My problems with men won't end until I discover the way on how to say "no".. any idea?

seems like yesterday

Warning: If you don’t like emo stories, don’t read this! :)

I have posted this in my other blog account on my father’s 11th year death anniversary and I wanna share this with you..

This story happened more than a decade ago (11 years to be exact) but this is one of the reasons why I am the kind of person you know today. Well, that is, if you really knew me.. lol

June 1997, my sister went home from Manila. My family was living in Capiz that time. She noticed how my father’s weight dropped dramatically. She said “Tay, you look so thin.” And my father answered “Oh, don’t mind my weight Maybe I’m just tired”. My father was working in someone’s farm. After a day of ploughing, farm owner will give him a kilo or two of rice, variety of vegetables or cooked food for our table. He didn’t have a job that paid him well but he was or still a perfect father for us. My mother was the one supporting us financially by selling veggies and father was the one tending our needs. He usually woke up at 4 in the morning to cook our breakfast then he’ll bring my youngest sister to school (my youngest sister was 6 then) carrying her in his shoulder and walking 4 kms and then he’ll go back to where he worked (that’s another 4 kms) then wait until my sister’s class is finished and he’ll fetch her. Oh yeah, your math is correct. That’s a total of 16 kms. Don’t worry, he didn’t do the walking everyday. Sometimes, he would bring our carabao with him and he and my sister will ride in it. Hehe! His last routine was cooking dinner for us. He made sure that everything was ready everytime we arrived home (his son and daughters from school and his wife from the market).

September 1997 when my mother decided to have my father condition checked up and it was when we received the shocking and devastating news. He had a cancer. It wasn’t clear if it is liver or lung cancer. What we knew was, he’ll die anytime but we didn’t think that we have only three months left to be with him. This changed our lives. We couldn’t concentrate at school because we didn’t want to be away from him. We didn’t tell him that he was dying because we didn’t want him to think about it. It might cause his sudden death. Imagine the three months that we controlled our tears everytime we talked to him.

We asked for help from my aunt (his sister) in Manila. She sent money for my father’s medicine (we were still hoping). What I didn’t know was when he and mother were about to leave, he saw my school shoes that has holes in it and while I was sleeping, he drew my foot and bought me a shoes instead of buying his medicines. He also bought something for my siblings. He said that he didn’t need medicine because he felt fine. I don’t know if he’s really fine or just hiding the pain he was experiencing.

November 27, 1997, mother, father, my two sisters (6 and 9 years old) and my older sister left for Manila. It was my father’s wish to see his siblings and mother as well as his relatives. We were always short of budget and everytime we had money, we had school activities. He’s like the person who’ll sacrifice his happiness not only for his family but also for other people. People who knew him will agree with that. My last hugged to him was when they were about to board the ship. My mother whispered to me “Hug your father, it might be your last”. We were already hopeless because his body said so. I was really crying that time but father said “Don’t cry. I’m just going for a vacation.” We (my brother who was 15 and I who was 13) wanted to go with them but he wanted us to stay in the province for our studies.

Days passed and we didn’t hear anything from them. It was morning of December 5, 1997 when we received the news. I was in the flag ceremony when my teary-eyed brother came to me. He didn’t say anything until I was in the principal’s office. All of my teachers were already there when my brother told me that our father passed away on 2nd of December. The telegram came late. It was then when we got our ticket as chance passengers to Manila. We arrived there on the 6th and the burial was on the 7th.

According to what they told us, on the day of his death, my father was watching the television and when the three o’clock prayer flashed on the screen, he prayed. It followed by The Lord’s Prayer and in the end, he said, ”They’re here. They’re fetching me.”

It was when we know that my father was with Him.

It’s been 11 years but the memories are still fresh because we love our father dearly. Losing one of the most important people in your life will make you value everyone around you. Most of us only realize that the person is important to us if she/he leaves or dies. Don’t wait for that to happen. Show them how much you love them before it’s too late.

I was a good daughter to my father but I think I didn’t show him how much I love him. To tatay, wherever you are, you know I love you so much!